"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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