Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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