Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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