I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
