the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
