You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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