It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
