Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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