1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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