the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
