she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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