WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
