i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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