Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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