I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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