So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
