i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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