Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
