shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
