I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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