And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize