Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
