Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
