we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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