also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
