I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
