I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
