idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
