i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
