listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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