I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize