think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
