good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
