Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
