All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
