you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
