So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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