The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
