Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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