Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Who did Billy Mays play for?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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