dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
