It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
