im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I look better un-naked...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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