DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
