He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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