I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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