if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
