Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize