Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
