she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
