I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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