Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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