So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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