You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's blow job season.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
