The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So much rum. So many feels.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
