pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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