dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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