He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My breasts were aching with rage.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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