What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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