Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
BRING THE BAGELS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
