Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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